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Quotes (DNF)

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These are quotes from the game Duke Nukem Forever and related media.

Duke Edit

  • [Duke, from April 2011 gameplay trailer]

That oughta wipe the ugly off that mug. [after punching an Assault Trooper's head off in the air]

  • [Duke, from 2011 Reveal Trailer]

Right in the jewels. [after punching a Battlelord in the balls]

  • [Duke, from 2011 Reveal Trailer]

What? Did you think I was gone forever?

  • [Duke, from 2011 Reveal Trailer]

Hell, I'd still hit it! [after gazing at the Alien Queen]

  • [Duke and girl, from 2011 Reveal Trailer]

Hail to the king, baby! What about the game, Duke? Was it any good? Yeah, but after 12 fucking years, it should be.

  • [Duke, from April 2010 leaked gameplay - was not a real recording]

Fuck, not another puzzle.

  • [Duke, from 19th Dec 2007 teaser trailer]

I'm looking for some alien toilet to park my bricks... Who's first?

  • [Duke, from Jace Hall Show, Season 4 Ep. 20 DNF preview]

Oh yeah, it's ass-kicking time!

  • Duke, from Jace Hall Show, Season 4 Ep. 20 DNF preview]

Let's see what they look like... Oooh, nasty! [after gibbing a Pig Cop with his fists, consuming beer right before that]

  • [Duke, from Jace Hall Show, Season 4 Ep. 20 DNF preview]

You're one ugly motherfucker. [upon seeing a Battlelord, reference to Predator]

  • [Duke, from February 2011 gameplay footage]

Looks like those alien bastards drank all my beer.

  • [Duke, from February 2011 gameplay footage]

[pissing on a urinal, beginning of game] This is taking forever. Time to stop pissing around and get this big guy back into action!

  • [Duke, from February 2011 gameplay footage]

I'm from Las Vegas, and I say kill 'em all! [Starship Troopers reference]

  • [short convo between EDF soldier and Duke, from IAA Duke-Claptrap trailer]

Duke, we've got your green power armor here and ready to go. [points at Master Chief's armor]
Power armor is for pussies.
Um... well, okay, uh, you want a gun instead?

  • [Duke, from IAA Duke-Claptrap trailer]

[driving his monster truck] Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker! (also heard in Duke Nukem 3D, lightly bleeped out)

  • [Duke, from the Come Get Some trailer]

There's more where that came from!

  • [Duke, from the Shrinkage trailer]

[being brought back to full size by the Particle Expander] Yeah, this should help.

  • [Duke, from the Shrinkage trailer]

Size only matters when you're full grown, baby!

Quit bleedin', pussy!

Damn, I'm looking good!

[Army of Darkness reference]] Hail to the king, baby!

[Army of Darkness reference]] Groovy.

What a mess!

[admiring himself] Who's that handsome devil?

Damn, I'm looking good.

Look at my ass. Do it. Now.

Oh yeah, I'm bringing sexy back.

[After killing the Octaking] There can be only one king, you fuck.

I've got balls of steel.

[Army of Darkness reference] Come get some.

Blow it out your ass!

Let God sort 'em out.

Eat shit and die.

[Big Trouble in Little China reference, also Shadow Warrior reference] It's all in the reflexes.

[Total Recall reference] You think this is the real Duke? It is!

Convenient.

[Half-Life reference] A crowbar would come in handy right now.

[300 reference] Tonight, you dine in hell.

[possible reference to Blood II: The Chosen] When you get to hell, tell 'em Duke sent ya.

[Predator reference] Oh yeah, if it bleeds, I can kill it.

My balls, your face.

Looks like Lady Luck just gave you the finger.

Step right up and get some!

[killing Pig Cops] Squeal harder next time.

I wonder how many pork chops I can make outta you.

Pork chop sandwiches.

I don't dig on swine.

I guess pigs do fly.

Time to paint the town red.

[RoboCop reference] I'd buy this for a dollar.

Another day, another disembowelment.

Up close and personal.

[Escape from New York reference] I am the Duke. I am A#1.

[Back to the Future part II reference] Sit down and shut up.

Rainin' blood, baby.

Take a bite of Duke's special pain cake!

Take a teleport, to hell!

Take those tentacles, and shove 'em up your ass!

Who wants white meat, huh? Who wants it?

[Army of Darkness reference, also Blood reference] Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.

[Commando reference] Did I promise to kill you last? I lied.

I've got balls of fail. [when playing pinball and losing]

[facing the real Cycloid Emperor in Final Battle] I'm gonna rip your eye out and piss on your brain, you alien dirtbag.

[Mortal Kombat reference] Duke wins, Fatality

[Jon St. John- Duke's Voice Actor- Connecticon] It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of ass.

[When killing an Octobrain] Time to redecorate in Brain Matter Grey.

What kind of shit ending is that? I'm not dead. I'm coming back for more. [After shown KIA]

[After finding helmet in underwater level] Well at least HE had an ending.

Have a taste of my ball.

It looks like you've been fucked. [Found twins in The Hive]

Welcome to Earth, bitch.

Its down to you and me, you one eyed freak.

I'm not done with you, Octo-Pussy.

Baby you make me wish I had three guns.

Who's your daddy now?

I'm gonna run for president.

Rest in pieces.

My Kung Fu is still the best.

You got alot of guts, lets see what they look like.

Now that's what I call reducing headcount.

Always bet on Duke.

Time to bring the pain.

What is this? Shit finger painting?

Tell you mom to quit callin' me...

[Happy Gilmore/The Price is Right Reference?] The Price is Wrong... bitch!

I hate to kick my own ass, but it's gotta be done. [Destroying Duke Clone]

I'm gonna rip your head off, you freakin' space monkey![Doctor Proton Fight]

Lesson One: Don't fuck with the real Duke. [First round in Me Myself and I]

Lesson Two: Don't fuck with the real Duke. [Second round in above level]

Lesson Three: Remember lessons one and two. [Third round in above level]

Time to blow shit up. [When picking up Expander in Going Down]

That was close enough to shave my balls. [After escaping laser path]

I doubt you'll live long enough to see Phase Three. That's when I kill you.

That's my line, asshole. [After Doctor Proton says "Ah, much better"]

That's the last thing you'll steal from me, douche bag. [After killing Doctor Proton]

Hmm, fuckin' magnets....how do they work? [ (Possible) reference to an Insane Clown Posse song of that name]

Yee-Haw! [After jumping school bus]

I got your Planck length right here, baby. You gonna let me in or what? [To Doctor Valencia]

No fuckin' way I'm playin' that piece of crap! [Refusing to play Pimp Slap]

They keep getting uglier, and I keep getting meaner. [Alien Empress Fight]

Time for the real alien abortion. [Inside Alien Empress]

Time for some drive-by dental surgery! [Drives Moon Rover through Alien Empress' closed teeth]

Let's test your gag reflex.... [Drives Moon Rover through Alien Empress' throat]

It's a damn good day to bet on Duke. [Near end DLC]

EDF Edit

Hey pal, what're you gonna do, save the world all by yourself? [2001 DNF Trailer reference]

Dylan: Duke, good to fuckin' see ya. I knew that retirement bullshit was just bullshit. Fuck that retirement shit, I just got back from [mockingly] helping my friend find his wife. Christ, what a fucking pussy. [Gears of War reference]

Holoduke Edit

I am the real Duke Nukem. Balls of steel. Eat shit and die.

I will take your head off and shit into your neck.

I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of ass.

I will play pattycake on your ass. [this one originates from a fan-made video]

Hello. Give me all your ammo.

General GravesEdit

We need you Duke, now more than ever.

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